Marriage in Kashmir: A Happy Occasion Turning into a Financial Burden
Rayees Jamil | Inside Kashmir
Marriage is one of the most important events in a person's life. It is the beginning of a new journey filled with hope, love and responsibility. But in Kashmir, marriage is becoming a big financial burden for many families.
Today, people spend huge amounts of money on weddings. Expensive clothes, gold jewellery, wedding halls, large feasts and other ceremonies have become common. Many families feel forced to spend beyond their limits because they are afraid of what society will say.
The biggest problem is that people have started comparing weddings. If one family organises a grand wedding, others feel pressure to do the same. Nobody wants to appear poor in front of relatives and neighbours. As a result, some families take loans, use their savings or sell valuable things just to arrange a wedding.
But we must ask ourselves: Are we celebrating marriage, or are we trying to impress society?
A father's happiness lies in seeing his children settled and happy. Yet many parents spend years worrying about how they will arrange their children's marriages. A poor father may save every rupee for years to marry his daughter with dignity. Instead of making the occasion easier for him, society often increases his worries through unnecessary demands and expectations.
This situation also affects young people. Many families find it difficult to arrange marriages because of the high expenses involved. When marriage becomes too costly, people may delay it even when they are ready to take responsibility for family life.
We need to understand that a person's value is not decided by the amount of money spent on a wedding. A simple wedding does not mean that a family lacks respect or dignity. True dignity comes from good character, honesty and the way we treat others.
As Muslims, we should also think about what Islam teaches us. Islam encourages simple marriage and discourages wasteful spending. Yet, in many cases, our social customs have become more important than the values we claim to follow.
We talk about helping the poor, but sometimes our own customs put them under pressure. We speak about simplicity, but when it comes to our children's weddings, we worry about the opinions of relatives and neighbours.
This double standard must end.
Religious scholars, parents, community leaders and young people should come forward to bring change. We should encourage simple weddings and stop unnecessary demands. Nobody should be judged because they cannot afford an expensive wedding.
Parents must also understand that their children's future is more important than a single day's celebration. Money spent on unnecessary show can instead be saved for education, housing, healthcare and other important needs.
There is nothing wrong with inviting relatives, serving good food or celebrating a happy occasion. The problem begins when these things become a competition and families feel forced to spend money they cannot afford.
Kashmir is known for its hospitality, traditions and strong family bonds. We should protect these good values without allowing unnecessary customs to become a burden on ordinary people.
A marriage should bring happiness to a family, not debt and worry.
It is time for us to change our thinking. Let us stop judging weddings by the amount of money spent on them. Let us respect families who choose simplicity and support those who struggle financially.
After all, a successful marriage does not depend on an expensive wedding. It depends on love, trust, understanding and responsibility.
The question is simple: If we cannot make marriage easier for one another, how can we expect our society to become stronger?
